Fellow agnostic and athiests i am at a moral crossroads.?

ok im agnostic because i believe the only logical conclusion some one can come to about the big question is i dont know. although the idea of a god constantly pointing its finger down at us telling us what not to do makes me laugh. i decided i was going to start converting people to my side, i hurt peoples feelings, made them feel dumb, and **** on their entire belief system. i didnt bother me much, until i started talking to my mom about it. now dont get me wrong i love my mom to death but she is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. i saw how i had hurt her and it killed me inside, she doesn't have much anymore and its like i took one of the last things she had. then i realized the only reason i feel bad is because this person is important to me. but thats no way of thinking, i cant hurt everyone and not the ones i care for. i will never believe in any kind of religion because it is just flat out retarded. but i can not help but feel bad for them when i try and convert, at the same time i pity them because they believe in a delusion. any advice