I feel like i can never be happy,and i want to commit suicide......?

Im fifteen years old and all my life iv'e seen drugs and fighting my grandfather was the only man supporting us and he got cancer and died,my mother left me when i was four and my dad is a drug addictwho just straitened up but every time he does he goes back on drugs so i cant trust it my grandparents raised me and i knew we were going to loose our house so i met a guy online that had a lot of money and moved to new york to be with him im from california but my family is dieang for help but my boyfriends parents dont have money anymore cause of the houses they have to pay off now and i dont have money to send it to them to get thier house im so stressed out i alredy drank 2 bottles of pepto bismo and going to grab any pill i can to kill myself but i dont kno what to do i feel like i was never meant to b happy and suicide is what i was meant to do i want to get my lif over with bcecause im not hapy i need help i dont know where to go or who to talk to or what to do